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"Sock Talk "Written By: Fancy Figures Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, wish I did, just
enjoy writing about 'em for free etc Pairing: 1+2 Warnings: humour, fluff Rating: PG 13 Summary: Duo's helping Hero with the laundry. "Sock Talk " “Hey, look!” “No.” “Jeez, Heero, just for a minute. Look what happens when I -” “Duo, just get on with the job in hand. Until the laundry’s done, we can’t settle down to watch the movie.” “Sez you. I reckon we could just leave this here in a pile and no-one’d be any the wiser -” “Yes, sez me. I will not go barefoot to work any longer. When the socks are sorted and put away, then we can relax.” “Uh-huh.” “Duo, that’s not an appropriate use of a sock. Put it away.” “What, the sock? Or my -” “Hn.” “OK, OK. But just look -” “No. Get on with it. Here’s the first batch.” “Black ones.” “So?” “Like your hair. And these are brown, like mine.” “They’re socks, Duo.” “No imagination, you. If I pull this one over this hand, and one of the others over this hand -” “I suppose I should be grateful it’s only your hand.” “We’re talking to each other, see? Give a little bow, sock-Duo. Hi there sock-Heero, and how are you today? Is that a stick up your ass or just your best pal Duo’s hand?” “Hn.” “Well, I’m laughing.” “Indeed. Take another couple of batches and put them away.” “Heero, don’t you think these give a rather interesting view of the owner’s character?” “They’re socks, Duo.” “Yeah, you said that. But look – the pale grey ones. Expensive; designer logo at the ankle; yet sensible colour and fabric. Sez Quatre through and through, right?” “They’re -” “And these. Dark, silky fabric; thin; elegant, yet warm and practical. Gotta be Wufei.” “Put them away. I don’t -” “Ooh, and whose are these? Look at the stre-e-e-tch in this fabric! Very slim style, with just that thread of silver glamour hiding amongst the more modest weave. It’s Trowa, no doubt about it.” “Dear God. It’s only laundry.” “And look!” “No.” “Hey, hey, there’s just one of these, must have got caught up by accident, it’s -” “Pink.” “Yeah, good call, Heero. I wonder whose -” “Don’t go there.” “She was hanging around last week -” “Don’t go there.” “Guess you’re right. So is that the lot? Roger and out?” “It was hardly a mission, Duo. A few pairs of socks into the drawers. You astound me with your ability to make a drama out of the domestic. You exhaust me, to be honest. You…” “What about the other basket?” “What other basket?” “Look, here are some more things. Whoa, these are even better.” “Let’s leave those.” “Hell, Heero, what happened to commitment to the cause? Loyalty to the laundry? Now these are truly enlightening, if we start to examine our flatmates in the context of their -” “Leave those, Duo. They’re only -” “Boxers. Yeah, I know. What’s up, Heero? Don’t wanna share your black silk with Trowa’s Cirque de Soleil? With Quatre’s Pooh and Piglet? With Wufei’s Fist of Fury?” “You’re making all that up.” “Who sez?” “Sez me. I sorted last week’s washing. We don’t have any of those.” “What do you think, sock-Duo? Do you want to discuss the merits of black silk against ass-cheeks with sock-Heero? Do you want to ask him where he put the red and white-fluff thong you got him the other Christmas? Do you want to -” “Hn.” “Umphhgnh. Nuhht ah vurry ghudd yus ov yrrrh soggs aht ahhll.” “I disagree. I think that’s possibly the very best use for my socks.” “Umphhh.” “Any more trouble from you and I’ll tell you exactly where I put the thong.” “Umphhh?” “You wish, Duo. You wish.” End
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